27 May 2009

Funny Headlines

-- Trudy McDaniel sent in the instructions for putting together an Ikea desk, which state: ``It is advisory to be two people during assembly.''

-- Doug Gordon sent in the instructions for a set of Tama brand drums, containing this warning: ``Stay away from the drum set if an earthquake occurs.''

-- Dave Zarrow reports that he saw a sign making this appealing offer: ``I Lost 40 Lbs. in Two Months! Call for Free Samples!''

-- Joe Bays sent in a glossy color brochure for the American Standard ''Cadet II'' model commode, featuring the slogan: ``Get more out of your toilet.''

-- Sandra Bowers sent in a story from the Akron Beacon Journal headlined, ``Police Find Man Dead to Death in Motel.''

-- Paul Morrill sent in a story from the Santa Cruz County Sentinel, concerning a man who was arrested when he attacked some sea lions ``because they constantly defected on his boat.''

-- Jeanne Reed sent in a bulletin from Weatherby Health Care, a physician-placement firm, with this headline: ``Born and Raised in the Midwest, This Very Talented Surgeon Is Looking for His Nitch Back Home.''

Q. You hate it when a surgeon loses his nitch.

A. Let's hope he didn't leave it inside a patient.

1 comment:

Heather said...

Thanks for the silly. Some people are so dumb!